FEEDBACK REQUESTED: The Others Opening Paragraphs

The Others is Book #2 in The Adventures of Evelyn Acorn (Book #1 being The Reality Warper). I still have a way to go, but I would love to get some feedback on the opening paragraphs as they stand so far from my fans.

Here goes...

The Others Opening Paragraphs

1. Give Up

Anyone found to be associating with any individual who identifies as a ‘True User,’ ‘Inner,’ or, worst of all, ‘Withouter’ will be subject to the harshest punishments that Alerrawian law allows—permanent imprisonment, detention, or death. Suspicion of wrongdoing is sufficient evidence for punishment to be inflicted. No arguments will be heard. No mercy will be given.

Revised Alerrawian Rules and Regulations, page 1

Ev darted through the forest, expertly dodging trees as she flew through the air. Her Withouter camouflage hid her well. Felix, the leader of the Seven and ‘ruler’ of Alerrawia, had ordered his magic users to make the forest grow at an unnatural rate. The trees were almost at Alerrawia’s gates, hiding the compound from view.

“Stupid man,” Ev muttered to herself. He must have known that trees provided as much cover for the approaching Withouters as they did for those who still followed Felix. Ev couldn’t see much, but she and her troops could get a lot closer than ever before without anyone knowing.

“Positions?” she whispered softly into the handheld radio Viola had conjured out of thin air.

“In place.”

“Ready.”

“In position.”

The voices echoed back, some using magical radios of their own, some simply making direct use of the telepathy that fueled the radios in the first place.

“There’s too many of us,” Ev said, quietly.

“You can’t do everything on your own,” was the reply.

Ev didn’t look at Lulerain, the olive pixie that was always, unrelentingly at her side. Lulerain was always trying to protect Ev, always trying to help.

But Ev didn’t need help. Not really.

“Claster’s getting closer,” said Lulerain when it became clear that Ev wasn’t going to answer. “He’ll be ready shortly.”

“Yes, fine,” said Ev, through gritted teeth. Ev hated the idea of Claster serving as a distraction. She hated that anyone except her was here. In the line of fire. Able to be hurt.

If they’d all just let her do it herself. . .

The trees below Ev shook and trembled.

“That will be the giants,” said Lulerain, as if Ev didn’t know...